Why hello lovely friends.
It has been quite a while since I last wrote on here….. the last time most of you knew, I was waiting in London on my visa. Well, don’t worry, I am not still in London (I would literally be in so much debt by now!) and I did go back to Prague after ten days of waiting.
To make a very long story somewhat short (although those who know me know that that is somewhat impossible), I went back to Prague even when my visa was not ready. Although I was living it up in London and the cheapest way one could EVER do – I had a free travel pass because my friend Rebecca allowed me to borrow hers (which in London saved me over $500), I stayed with friends for free, we cooked every night, and I went to free museums and parks everyday so needless to say, I lived cheaper in London than in Prague at that point! It’s all about the perspective, right?
However, I decided to go back to Prague with the risk knowing that my visa might not still arrive in time. This was a very pivotal point at this stage because I was really emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted from this whole process despite trying to make the best of it. To be completely honest, I was over it. I wanted to give up – I lost sight of my vision of being in Prague and I couldn’t see the benefits anymore. I wasn’t working or making money (only spending it and slowly borrowing it) because of the visa complications, I was in a difficult living situation that I unfortunately did not change even when I saw the signs, and I wanted to get on a career path. In my mind, I wanted to be more than an English teacher and I wanted to be making a difference locally and globally. And I just didn’t see that happening anymore.
From purely a financial standpoint, I had to stop. I didn’t want to (perhaps pridefully) borrow money from my parents anymore knowing that even with my teaching job later, I couldn’t pay them back. I still so many other costs coming up like picking up my visa in Berlin, health insurance, rent, food, etc…. It was too much. And when I would go back to my vision of being in Europe, it was to be a bit more financially free to enjoy it, embrace it, help others, and see what was so close to me.
So within a blink of an eye it seemed, I had incredible support and help from family members to get me back in the cheapest way possible. I flew back to Tulsa, Oklahoma on November 5th with the intention to build my career near family this time and just move on. It was not the journey I had quite expected going over to Prague (although many great and ‘this is it’ moments for sure) and so therefore, it seemed time to change.
Then, as you may expect, I have also had hardships being home and being back in the ‘all too familiarity’ of things. I cried the first time I had to drive somewhere. First world problems:) I love my family more than anything in the world, and yet, here I was, still unhappy. What would it take to be okay with my life when I have had a dream life that others would have killed for at my age? I have seen so many amazing things, I have met the most amazing people everywhere I go, I see love all around me, and I experience joy even in the smallest of things, yet something was still missing. And I claim to be such a faith based person as well. HARD.
I say all of this not to share everything (because oh there is so much more to it), but to actually use this as a way to encourage and inspire you all or people you know. I had such a vision of going to Prague and things didn’t work out the way I planned. So I made a change – a needed change at that time. It’s not over yet and I am so completely thankful to be here around my family in light of some health issues and true time to get back on track – this time is so not wasted. And I could end up staying here which is totally great as well! Learning to appreciate so many of the things here too.
So what does all this mean for me? Well, I am working part time at a restaurant to make some money (Yay!). I am applying for interesting jobs both here and in Prague – and writing out a financial plan if and when I go back. Looking at all of my options and also looking at all of the different perspectives.
I will say that I LOVE Prague so much and it gave me so much what I wanted and more – I loved walking everyday on the cobblestone streets, seeing the Prague castle and river on my long city runs, meeting amazing women in the International Women’s group, joining an Anti Human Trafficking training program in Prague (which is one of the main European hubs), visiting my friends who just had their first child in Liberec!, being in nature and feeling rejuvenated, inspiring others to go after dreams (whom I met in the TEFL course), and taking photographs of the Made By Survivors Jewelry on the Charles Bridge. So many more little moments that took my breath away, that made me so thankful for the life I have been able to live, and I want to stay that way no matter how the situation may change.
On that crazy honest note, I will keep you updated! In the meantime, I hope wherever you are that you enjoy the Christmas season with loved ones be it family, friends, or someone you just met who took you in 🙂 It’s a time of year for reflection and getting ready for the new year – I love this time!! Goal setting? Yes, please!!
Oh, and I met a boy in London….through mutual friends… so then, there’s that…
More on the most amazing A21 Walk in London and other Prague posts soon!